Redneck One Liners

You might be a redneck if...

• Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.
• You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
• You're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".
• You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
• Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
• The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it).
• You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
• You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
• You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
• Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

Might be a Redneck

You might be a redneck if. . .

• You think harass is two words.
• You consider fast food hitting a deer at 65 MPH.
• Every day someone comes to your house mistakengly thinking you're having a yard sale.
• Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
• You have more dogs than the local shelter.
• You consistently receive credit card offers with a limit of $1.25.
• Your postman puts rubber gloves on when the red flag is up on your mailbox.

Redneck: Fingers and Teeth

You're a redneck if...-You have more fingers than you do teeth