Possum Dinner

Q: How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch for cars.

You're a Hillbilly If...

• Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.
• You've ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
• You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
• You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
• On average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found in a dictionary.
• You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
• You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
• You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

What You Do Best!

This suave-looking Redneck, (okay, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink. He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies "Sure, why not!" They get to her place, and she lies on the bed and says, "Okay, show me what you do best!" Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, grabs her T.V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!