Redneck Jokes - Hillbilly Jokes

Redneck Dayvorce

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce.
Attorney: "May I help you?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres."
Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."
Attorney: "Well, is she a nagger or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want this dayvorce."

Anonymous

Accident

A little kid comes running into the backyard.
He says, "Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"
"Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."

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Anonymous

Buckwheat 'n Darla

Buckwheat and Darla were in school and the teacher asked Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?  "Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb.".  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."  She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."
"Now spell 'stupid'.  "Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."  Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher called on Buckwheat and asks, "Buckwheat, spell 'dictate'."  Buckwheat stands up and says, "d-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."  The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in the a sentence."  "I may be dumb and I may be stupid, but Darla says my dictate good!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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