Identity Crisis

Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.

Fat Free

You might be a redneck if you think "fat-free" means undoing your belt and the first 3 buttons.

You're a Hillbilly If...

• Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.
• You've ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
• You've ever been arrested for a DUI on a riding lawn mower.
• You keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.
• On average, one out of every thirty words you use can be found in a dictionary.
• You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
• You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she won't ask for them again.
• You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.