Upcoming Election

Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election. "I'm not voting for any of the candidates," the first man said. "I don't know any of them." "I feel the same way," the second man said. "Only I know them all."

The Oil Crisis

There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.  Well, here's the answer: It's simple. Nobody bothered to check the oil.  Didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical.  All the oil is in Alaska, Texas, and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.

Communism

Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic. "I'm sorry,"  says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage." Capitalism says  "What's a line?" And Communism says  "What's a sausage?"