A Collection of Insults

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection.

• Takes his imagination out for a walk and ends up being dragged around the block by it.
• Talks to plants on their own level.
• Team player... No chance he'll develop a personality on his own.
• Teflon brain -- nothing sticks.
• The best part of him ran down his mother's legs.
• The butter slipped off his noodle.
• The cheese slid off his cracker.
• His glass is half empty.
• The fan is working but the freon's leaked out.
• The heater's plugged in but the rheostat's shot.
• The perfect personality to write software manuals.
• The space between his ears powers vacuum pumps.
• The spit valve's fallen off his trumpet again.
• The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.

10 Business One Liners F-G

1. For every problem, there is a neat, plain solution...and it is always wrong.
2. For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.
3. Four-wheel-drive just means getting stuck in more inaccessible places.
4. Free advice costs nothing until you act upon it.
5. Free time which unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted.
6. Freud's 23rd law: ideas endure and prosper in inverse proportion to their soundness and validity.
7. Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
8. Frustration is not having anyone to blame but yourself.
9. Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.
10. Geologists do not dress for success unless they are trying to convince others that they are going on interviews. 

Mystery

OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas.