Stupid Insults 10/31

• Even a two button mouse gives him too many options.
• Evidence for the theory of a missing link.
• Failed the Turing test.
• Fell out of the family tree.
• Fifty-one cards short of a full deck.
• Fighting the war with a starter pistol / water pistol / pop gun / cap gun.
• Finds a flat by swapping tires.
• Finds canonical humor collections amusing.
• Finds Sesame Street / knock-knock jokes challenging.
• Fired from McDonald's for having a short attention span.
• Fired her retro-rockets a little late.
• Flaky.
• Flat out like a lizard drinking.
• Flying/landing on one engine.
• Focused like a 12 gauge shotgun.
• Fog rolled in the day he was born, and a bit of it never rolled out.
• Folds ace plus red jack hand when playing blackjack.
• Foreign substances float in his cranial fluids.
• Forgot to pay his brain bill.
• Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
• Four bits shy of a full DEC.
• Four cents short of a nickel.
• Full of wisdumb.
• Full throttle, dry tank.
• Fur coat and no knickers. (Scottish expression.)
• Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.
• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.
• Gears grind/don't always mesh.
• Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.

Anger Management

The devil is never angry.
Hell hath no fury.

Statistics don't Lie

Someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.