Medical Miracles

There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

This Old Man

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a muttering word of protest, the old man gets up from his seat and quietly leaves the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he!" And the waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles!"

Talking Frog

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him.
"Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!"
Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.
"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on.
The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."
Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"