Love Him When He's Old and Feeble

Husband: Darling, will you love me when I'm old and feeble?
Wife: You bet I do.

Yo Mama - Museum Period

Yo momma is so old, they took her tampon out of the museum to see what period it was from.

Dying Lawyer

A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow found two pillowcases full of cash in the attic. "The old fool," she thought, "I knew I should have left them in the basement!"