Old Oral Sex

Q: How do old people have oral sex?
A: They talk about it.

Hairy Animals

One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''

What Grandma's Done

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."