Up or Down?

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a Caribbean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had 2 bunk beds. So, as they were retiring for the first night, the husband says to his wife, "Up, or down?" The wife inexplicably removes all her clothing and makes love to her husband all night long. The next night, the husband wonders if he'll get lucky again... So, he says to his wife, "Up, or down?" She again removes all her clothing and makes love to him all night long. This continues for 2 glorious weeks. When they arrive home from their trip, the wife retrieves her hearing aides. As they retire for the first night home, the husband decides to try the magic words again... "Up, or down?" His wife says, "What?" To which he replies, "During the whole trip, my dear, I said those words every night and you took off all your clothes and made love to me all night long." The wife says, "Ooooh, I thought you said 'Fuck, or drown !".

Old Never Dies 11

• OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving
• OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail
• OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up
• OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "DINGHY"
• OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise
• OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission
• OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals
• OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt
• OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles
• OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point
• OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision
• OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away
• OLD SHEETROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around
• OLD SHOES MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole
• OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast

What Was It's Name

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"