A Little Old Man

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucket please?" The assistant asked "Pardon sir?"."Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied. The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his bucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked  "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier looked very puzzled and asked  "Pardon?". The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier replied  "Oh you mean a clock! yes certainly sir." So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said  "Sorry sir what did you say?". So he repeated himself  "Can I have a bum please?". The assistant said  "Oh right, you mean a bun!". The old man said  "Yes that's what I said in the first place." So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop. As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him and asked  "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?" The man replied "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while I get my cock out."

Senior Couples Going Out

Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too." Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the restaurant?" Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What's the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?" Sam says, "How about rose?" "Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife. "Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last night?"

Yo Mama - Black and White

Yo mama is so old that her memory is in black and white.