The Worm Hole!

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole. "The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole. "The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole. The grandfather, impressed with his grandson's ingenuity, hands him five dollars ... then grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars?" The grandfather replies, "Yes, I know. But that's from your grandma!"

After You

My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local  Verizon Office. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. I wasn't really sure who was next and when we got to the front of the line, the man gestured to me and said, "After you." I smiled at him and said, "No, please, after you. I have all day." Then he shook his head sadly and repeated, "No, sonny, you go on ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months."

Just A Memory

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says, "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't. "The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for two full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says..."How soon do you have to know?"