When I Become Old

When I'm a little old lady, then I'll live with my children and bring them great joy. To repay all I've had from each girl and boy I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor; run in and out without closing the door. I'll hide frogs in the pantry, socks under my bed. And whenever they scold me, I'll hang my head. I'll run and I'll romp, always fritter away ... the time to be spent doing chores every day. I'll pester my children when they are on the phone. As long as they're busy I won't leave them alone. Hide candy in closets, rocks in a drawer ... and never pick up what I drop on the floor. Dash off to the movies and not wash a dish. I'll plead for allowance whenever I wish. I'll stuff up the plumbing and deluge the floor. As soon as they've mopped it, I'll flood it some more. When they correct me, I'll lie down and cry, kicking and screaming, not a tear in my eye. I'll take all their pencils and flashlights, and then .. when they buy new ones, I'll take them again. I'll spill glasses of milk to complete every meal .... Eat my banana and just drop the peel. Put toys on the table, spill jam on the floor. I'll break lots of dishes as though I were four. What fun I shall have, what joy it will be to Live with my children... just the way that they lived with me! 

Old Plastic

OLD PLASTIC never dies, they just recycle it

Let Me See

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor. "Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex organs." So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.