Elderly romance

There's an elderly man and woman sitting in the sunroom of a retirement home. The old man says to the woman, "For five dollars, I'll have sex with you on that rocking chair over there. For ten dollars, I'll have sex with you on that couch. But for twenty dollars, I'll take you to my room, light a few candles and give you a romantic evening of passion you'll never forget." The woman considers it a moment and then, after fishing through her purse, produces a twenty dollar bill. The man says, "So, you want the romantic night in my room, eh?" The woman replies, "No, I want four times in the rocker."

Water Closet

My Uncle came out of the closet today.
He's not gay. He has Alzheimer's and thought it was the toilet.

Old Cuss

Q: How do you get a room full of old ladies to cuss at the same time?
A: Have one of them yell, 'Bingo'!