The Aged Patient's Lowered Sex Drive

The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."

Reasoning Test

Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc. The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn now. What is three times three?" "Friday," replies the second lady. "Ummm humm..." Then the doc says to the third, "Okay, ma'am, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," she says. "That's wonderful!" says the doc. "Tell me, how did you get that?" "Simple," she says, beaming... "I subtracted 297 from Friday!"

Retirement

One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home.  On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass, Millie, Nelda, Elma, Lacey, Sippy and Rosie.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
This time my curiosity got the best of me, and I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator. 'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'
'Yes,' she said. 'They're retired prostitutes, and they're having a yard sale.'