Back From Vacation

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. "But you just had two weeks off," said the boss. "Why didn't you get married then?"
"What, and ruin my vacation?" she whined.

Business One Liners - There is No

• There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.
• There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.
• There is no limit to how bad things can get.
• There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.
• There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
• There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.
• There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
• There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
• There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.
• There is no such thing as instant experience.
• There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing. 

Business One Liners - People's Opportunities

• Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
• Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
• Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
• Our present business is not to exchange compliments but arguments. - Robert Boyle, 17th century chemist
• People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
• People do not change, they only become more so.
• People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
• People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.
• People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
• People who are resistant to change cannot resist change for the worse.