Work & Office Jokes

Business Laws

Lieberman's Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.
Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law: 'n+1' trivial tasks take twice as long as 'n' trivial tasks.
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Lynch's Law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Manly's Maxim: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Mason's First Law of Synergism: The one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.
May's Law: The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. (The fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.) 

Anonymous

Hard Working Business Lines

  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
  • Has anyone ever heard of a self-made failure?
  • Have you flogged your crew today?
  • He who beats his sword into a plowshare usually ends up plowing for those who kept their swords.
  • He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
  • He who dies with the most toys, wins.
  • He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
  • He who hesitates is probably right.
  • He who pulls the oars does not have time to rock the boat. 

Anonymous

Getting Bad

It's been getting bad out there. College grads are unemployed and can't get work. I saw a college grad selling their BA degree on eBay.

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Submitted BY: christovercame
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