Great Job

A guy came home to his wife and said to her, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 AM start, 2 PM finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," his wife said. "Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start on Monday."

New Job Vocabulary

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing who's to blame for a missed deadline or a failed project.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Ego Surfing: Googling one's own name.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohno Second: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a huge mistake.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Kids, Oppressive Mortgage.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Treeware: Printed documentation or paperwork.
Xerox Subsidy: Free photocopies from one's workplace.

Economic Pressures

Faced with economic pressures, many commercial offices are cutting back on costs wherever possible, in an attempt to remain profitable. At one particular office, employees are taking management's belt-tightening orders seriously: "I'm taking home only half the office supplies I used to", one staffer notes.