Work & Office Jokes

Business One Liners - People's Opportunities

  • Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
  • Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
  • Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
  • Our present business is not to exchange compliments but arguments. - Robert Boyle, 17th century chemist
  • People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
  • People do not change, they only become more so.
  • People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
  • People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.
  • People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
  • People who are resistant to change cannot resist change for the worse. 

Anonymous

Wise Business One Liners

  • Success is the active process of making your dreams real and inspiring others to dream. - James Anders Honeycutt
  • Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
  • Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.
  • Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
  • Take this job and shove it.
  • Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.
  • Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
  • That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.
  • The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance 

Anonymous

Punctual

Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever.
There was never anybody around to appreciate it.

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Anonymous
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