Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everbody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everbody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

Company Downsizing

A company boss has to decide who to fire. He narrows it down to two low level management employees: Jack or Karen. He goes to Karen and says, "I will have to lay you or Jack off."

Understanding Your Paycheck

Gross pay: $1222.02
Income Tax - $244.40
Outgo Tax - $45.21
State Tax - $61.10
Interstate Tax - $5.89
County Tax - $6.11
City Tax - $12.22
Rual Tax - $4.44
Back Tax - $1.11
Front Tax - $1.16
Side tax - $1.61
Up Tax - $2.22
Down Tax - $1.11
Knickknack Tax - $1.98
Hackensack Tax - $3.93
Thumb Tax - $0.98
Carpet Tax - $0.69
Snack Tax - $8.32
Surtax - $3.46
Ma'am Tax - $3.46
Parking Fee - $5.00
No Parking Fee - $10.00
F.I.C.A. - $81.88
T.G.I.F - $9.95
Life Ins. - $5.85
Health Ins. - $16.23
Disability Ins. - $2.50
Ability Ins. - $0.25
Liability Ins. - $3.41
Dental Ins.  - $4.50
Mental Ins. - $4.33
Fundamental Ins. - $0.11
Coffee  - $6.85
Coffee Cups - $66.51
Calendar Rental - $3.06
Floor Rental - $16.85
Chair Rental - $4.32
Desk Rental - $4.32
Union Dues - $5.85
Union Don'ts - $0.77
Cash Advances - $0.69
Cash Retreats - $121.35
Overtime - $1.26
Undertime - $54.83
Eastern Time - $9.00
Central Time - $8.00
Mountain Time - $7.00
Pacific Time - $6.00
Daylight Savings Time - $4.44
Time Out - $12.21
Oxygen - $10.22
Water - $16.54
Electricity - $38.23
Heat - $51.42
Air Conditioning - $46.83
Misc. - $169.24
Total Take Home Pay = $0000.02
This is where the expression "just my 2 cents" came from.