Things To Say If Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

5. The blood bank mentioned this might happen.
4. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
3. Unbelievable; I thought that cold medicine said DAYTIME!
2. Whew! Guess I left the top off that liquid paper.
1. Amen!

Top Do Nots at the Office Christmas Party

The Top Don'ts At The Office Christmas Party:

• Don't go up to your boss and make the comparison of him with Santa because he's fat, jolly and only works one day out of the year.
• Don't put your boss in a sleeper hold just to bargain for a better salary.
• Don't offer anyone a hit from your Egg-Nog funnel.
• Don't call your best client and tell him how much you fudged his books by just so you could throw this party in the first place.
• Don't chase the secretary around with mistletoe and an eggbeater.
• Don't tell your boss that you're the one that runs the company. 

Short Term Job

I had a job once, it lasted a month. I finally called the boss and said, "I can't come in for a few days." He said, "What's the matter, you sick?" I said, " No, I just have to wait until this thought of wanting to kill you goes away."