Not a Big Deal

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She's got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite football team. Anyway, it's not a big deal but it feels good."
The next day, when the man got home his wife asks, "How was your day?"
The man says "Fantastic! It's not only her bra that is red and white but also her panties. You know it's not a big deal but it really feels good!"
The third day they meet at home after work, and now the man asks his wife, "And what happened today in your office, honey?"
She says, "Oh, nothing special, sweetheart. I got a new boss today. His dick is two inches longer than yours. You know it's not a big deal but, hell, it feels good!"

The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job

1. You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God."
2. You have visited every website in the world.
3. You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
4. You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
5. You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
6. Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
7. You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
8. Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
9. In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.

Everything Business Lines

• Everything is always done for the wrong reasons.
• Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
• Everything takes longer than you think.
• Everything tastes more or less like chicken.
• Everything worthwhile is mandatory, prohibited, or taxed.
• Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
• Excellence can be attained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.
• Exceptions always outnumber rules.