Pirate Applicant Interview

A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?
Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.
Interviewer: How did you get that hook?
Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.
Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?
Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.
Interviewer: And that put your eye out?
Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

Wise Business One Liners

• Success is the active process of making your dreams real and inspiring others to dream. - James Anders Honeycutt
• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
• Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.
• Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
• Take this job and shove it.
• Teamwork is essential; it allows you to blame someone else.
• Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
• That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.
• The 5 P's : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance 

Refused Rejection

Baxter Conners, Vice President
Company 203
203 Wall St.
New York, NY 10015
Dear Mr. Conners,
Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your bank.  This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.  Despite Company 203's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
Sincerely,
John Smith