Visit The Barber

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!"

Blonde Store Clerk

A robber comes into the store and steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Selling In the U.S.

A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1. Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.
A lady came to his tomato stand and said ''How much are these tomatoes?'' The man said ''Only fifty cents.'' Than she asked, ''Are they fresh?'' The man said ''Very, very fresh.'' She then asked, ''Can I buy one?'' The man said, ''Not today maybe tomorrow.'' A thief comes and said ''I'm a thief how much money do you have?'' The Tomato Seller said, ''Only fifty cents.'' The thief said, ''Are you being fresh with me?'' The Tomato seller said ''Very, very fresh.'' The thief said ''Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.'' The Tomato Seller said ''Not today maybe tomorrow!"
The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'