Money for Wife's Operation

A guy is walking down the strip in Las Vegas, when a man walks up and says, "Sir, do you have a extra $20.00, my wife needs an operation that costs $1000.00. I have $980.00 and just need the last $20.00."  The guy thinks about it and asks the man, "How will I know that you aren't going to walk into that casino and gamble it away?"  The man replies, "No sir... I have money for gambling!"

Couple Buying Lottery Tickets

A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, "What the hell do I do with these damn things?" The clerk replied, "Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything." The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."

Yo Mama - Change

Yo mama is so stupid, if I gave her a penny for her thoughts, I'd expect change.