Interview With Post Office

A guy applied for a job at a post office and got an interview. During the interview, the man mentioned that his penis got blown off in the war. The boss didn't care so much about that and they needed a mailman badly so he gave him the job. "Come in on Monday at 11:00. Everybody else comes in at 10:00, but I'll give you a break." "Why?" "Well, we don't have much to do in the morning, so we jack off for an hour or so."

US Attorney Generals Light Bulb

Q: How many US Attorney Generals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I cannot recall that particular answer at this time.

Military Work Rules

1. Sickness: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept the Medical Officer's statement as proof of illness as we believe that if you are able to go on sick parade, you are able to come to work.
2. Leave of Absence for an Operation: We are no longer allowing this practice. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we bargained for.
3. Death, Other than Your Own: This is no excuse. If you can arrange the funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
4. Death, Your Own: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
5. Quantity of Work: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
6. Quality of Work: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
7. Advice from the Commanding Officer: Eat a live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
8. The senior officer is Always Right.
9. When the senior officer is Wrong, Refer to Rule 8.