A Young Soldiers First Jump

A young soldier was making his first parachute jump. The corporal explained the procedure  "You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn't open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up." The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary "Geronimo!" and jumped out of the plane. He counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. The chute failed to open. He pulled the second ripcord and the chute still didn't open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that goddamn truck won't be there either!"

A Bit Apprehensie.

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant  fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference? "He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

Army Ants

Q: What do you call army ants when they fight?
A: Combatants