Soldier's Ambition

An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic syphilis, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," said the Major. He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir." "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front, Sir." "Good man," barked the Major. He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day." "What's your ambition?" "To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"

Shortest Book Written

Q: What's the shortest book ever written?
A: French War Heroes.

Looking For Anya

After WWII, two Poles returned to their destroyed village to locate the first one's wife. Going through the rubble, Victor came across a dismembered arm and called over, "Hey, Stanley, wasn't this Anya's arm? I think this is the wristwatch you gave her." "I dunno, Victor," said Stanley, and they continued the search. A little while later, Victor came across a severed leg. "Stanley, couldn't this be part of Anya? She had great legs." Stanley shrugged and they walked on. Finally the energetic Victor came across a woman's head, which he held out at arm's length for his friend's inspection. "Nope," said Stanley at last. "Anya was a lot taller."