Observation

Pavlov's dog has gotten into Schrodinger's box, and I'm pretty sure that I can now give a conclusive verdict on the cat's condition.

Quantum in Bar

A quantum particle walks into two bars. In one, he has a few drinks, becomes the life of the party, gets lucky and has a splendid time. In the other he drinks too much, picks a fight with the wrong company and ends up beaten to half of his life.
The next day, he happens to meet an old buddy. After some very small talk, his friend asks, "Hey, so what did you do last night?"
The particle, bruised and beaten shouts, "DAMN IT MAN did you have to ask!!"

American Standards

Q: What would happen if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight?
A: There would be mass confusion.