A Day Off

Q: What do you get when you cross Iron Man and Matthew Broderick?
A: Ferrous Bueller

Me Too

Two men walk into a bar. First one says "I'll have an H20."
Second man says, "You know what? I'll have an H20 too."
The second man dies.

Chemistry Christmas Song

Quantum Chemistry
On the first day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: An exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the second day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: a double integral and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the third day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: three orbitals, a double integral, and an exam in Quantum Chemistry. On the fourth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: four harmonic oscillators, three orbitals, etc. On the fifth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: Five Hermitian Operators! Four harmonic ocillators, three orbitals, etc. On the sixth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: six spin-orbit couplings, etc. On the seventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: seven basis functions, etc. On the eighth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eight time dependent perturbations, etc. On the ninth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: nine Slater determinants, etc. On the tenth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: ten electrons tunneling, etc. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: eleven photons emitting, etc. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my professor gave to me: 12 fermions exchanging, etc.