Where Is Jesus?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurts out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"

Little Johnny's Dad

Little Johnny has to write a story about someone in his family that does something amazing. The next day, he returns and tells the class that his father eats lightbulbs. "How do you know that?" asks his teacher. "I heard him say it. He and Mom were in the bedroom and he said 'I'll only eat that thing if you turn out the light.'"

Full House!

Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed!  "Dad!", says Johnny, "What are you doing?" Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says, "Well, Johnny, I'm playing poker...and your mother's the wild card". "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Still in need of an answer to his question, Little Johnny set out to look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his brother's bedroom door and finds Ernie and his sister Thelma humping away! "Ernie!" cried Johnny, "What are you doing?". Ernie stops humping for a second and says, "Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and Thelma is the wildcard. "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room to call him to dinner. He opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny wacking off like it was going out of style! "Johnny!" his father said, "I see you're playing poker, but where's your wildcard?"Johnny replies, "With a hand like this, who needs a wildcard?"