Tasting Day at School

A teacher was having a tasting day where she would put candy in the kids' mouth and they would guess what it was. She went to the first little boy and put a Hershey's Kiss in his mouth. "Can you guess what it is?" "I don't know," said the boy. "I'll give you a hint. It's something your daddy asks your mommy for every morning." The girl next to the boy says "Don't eat it. It's a piece of ass."

Great Plains

Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

Kids Speak Like Grownups

It's the first day of school, and the teacher announces to the class that they will learn to speak like grownups this year. To demonstrate, she asks the kids what they did this summer. The first child says, "I went on a choo-choo train ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a train ride." The second child says "I went on a tug-tug boat ride." "No," the teacher says, "you went on a boat ride." The third child says, full of pride, "I read a book." "Which one?" asks the teacher. "Winnie-the-Shit!"