Potty Training

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.  His mother thinks he's been in the bathroom too long, so she goes in to see what's up.  The little boy is sitting on the toilet looking at pictures in a book.  About every 15 seconds, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on the top of his head with his right hand.  His mother is amused but can't figure out why he's doing it.  She asks, "Why are you hitting yourself on the head?"  The boy answered, "It works for ketchup."
 

First Week of School

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

Mets Fans

On the first day of school, a teacher asked her class, "Who here is a Mets fan?" Every student knew that she loved the Mets, so they replied bye raising their hands, except for one girl, Rosie.
The teacher asked, "Who do you like, little girl?" Rosie replied, "I'm a Yankees fan and I hate the Mets." The teacher asked why and Rosie told her that her parents were Yankees fans, so she was too. The teacher said to the class, "So if Rosie's parents were idiots, what would that make her?"
Rosie chimed in, "A Mets fan!!!"