Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Four teenagers were arrested in the parking lot of a large mall in Lakeland, Fla., just before Christmas when, attempting to steal an automobile at random, they tried to break into a police van containing three officers on a stakeout.

Babies At The Grocery

There were three little babies sitting next to each other in shopping carts in the grocery store check-out line. The first little baby says, "Ugh, look at this my mom just bought strained plums!" The second baby says, "You think that's bad - my mom just bought strained peas!" And the third baby says... "You think you guys got it bad? How would you like to share a breast with a guy that smokes cigars!"

Penalty for Sex

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex."