Quiet In Church

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

Failed Attempt

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

Little Leprechaun

Little Patrick asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, so she said yes.
When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so he used his hands.
When he got back to class his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away."
He was then sent to the principals office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?"
So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent home and his mom asked him "What do you have in your hand?"
So little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"
So again little Patrick said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away."
Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"
And little Patrick opened his hands and said, "Look Dad you scared the shit out of him!"