Great Plains

Teacher: What are the Great Plains?
Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

No Worries

A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."

Two kids meet

A new neighbor arrives. The kids meet. The local kid: "My mom was born in California! Where was your mom born?" The other kid answers, "Alaska". The first one replies: "Gee, then don't worry about it... I'll ask'er myself!"