The Hog

There is a drunk guy in a bar and a big, fat woman with a parrot on her shoulder. She sits by the drunk guy and he looks over at her and says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks at him and frowns. He takes a few more drinks, then he says, "Where'd you get that hog?" She looks and says, "I'll have you know, this is not a hog, this is a parrot!" The dude says, "Well I'll have you know, I was talking to the hog."

So Fat After Thanksgiving

You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving you'll put mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo Mama - Car

Yo mama so fat, her car is made of spandex.