Stupid Insults

• One node short of a network.
• One of the early failures of electroshock therapy.
• One pane short of a window.
• One pearl short of a necklace.
• One prayer short of absolution.
• One press short of a CAPS LOCK key.
• One punch/swing/hit short of a fight.
• One sentence short of a paragraph.
• One shade short of a rainbow.
• One shingle shy of a roof, and the water's getting in.
• One ship short of a full fleet.
• One side short of a pentagon.
• One signature short of a book.
• One sleeve/button short of a shirt.
• One snowflake short of a ski slope.
• One song short of a musical.
• One span short of a bridge.
• One step short of the attic.
• One strawberry short of a quart.
• One strike past being called out.
• One sub short of a party platter.
• One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.
• One teabag short of a pot.
• One tower short of a castle.
• One tree short of a hammock.
• One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)
• One weight short of a shipwreck.
• Only one oar in the water.
• Only playing with 51 cards.
• Only playing with the jokers

Grow Up

Instead of being born again, why don't you just grow up?

So Fat After Thanksgiving

You'll be so fat after Thanksgiving you'll put mayonnaise on aspirin.