Market Development

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. The man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

Spell Valentine

Q: How do you spell Valentine?
A: Y - O - U   !

Top 10 Valentine Card Rejects

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk but the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store in hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished but now I'm fulfilled SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass our love has grown but so has your ass.
3. You're a honey and you're a cutie I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny so, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister, you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!