Sleepy Elf

Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

Elf School

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Mailman Christmas

I'm a mailman. At Christmas this year, blonde Mrs. Jankowitz met me at the door and invited me in for a great breakfast spread. After I ate, I thanked her and she said, "There's more." She took me to her bedroom and showed me moves I had never imagined. I told her I had no idea she felt this way. She said, "I don't." I ask, "So what was all this about?" She says, "I asked the husband what to give the mailman." He said, "Screw the mailman! Breakfast was my idea."