What Costume?

A black couple we're invited to a Halloween party and were trying to decide what to dress up as. The wife says, "how about Hanzel and Gretel?  "Nah...they were white, her husband replied.  "Ok, how about Raggedy Ann and Andy?"  "No way! They're white too and have huge ugly freckles!"  So the wife tells her husband to think of something since he always has a smart remark for her choices.  So he thinks a bit and then pops up, " I got it! .We'll go as Heshey Bars!"  "Heshey bars?", replies his wife,"are you nuts!"  "Exactly! One with nuts, and one without!"

Holiday Cycle

Me in January: (shoving tangled lights and broken ornaments into an unlabeled box) Problem for another day!
Me in December: Son of a bitch

In Stages

I like to take the Christmas decorations down in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes.