Long and Green

Q: What's long & green & has a low I.Q.?
A: A St. Patrick's Day Parade

Mexican Magic

A Mexican magician performing at a Christmas party tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "Uno...Dos..." and 'poof' he was gone. He disappeared without a tres.

What Costume?

A black couple we're invited to a Halloween party and were trying to decide what to dress up as. The wife says, "how about Hanzel and Gretel?  "Nah...they were white, her husband replied.  "Ok, how about Raggedy Ann and Andy?"  "No way! They're white too and have huge ugly freckles!"  So the wife tells her husband to think of something since he always has a smart remark for her choices.  So he thinks a bit and then pops up, " I got it! .We'll go as Heshey Bars!"  "Heshey bars?", replies his wife,"are you nuts!"  "Exactly! One with nuts, and one without!"