Skunked Again

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
A: You hold his nose!

Love Men

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.

More Signs You Are Out of College

• Your refrigerator holds more solid foods than liquids.
• You've lost the thread on your favorite soap opera.
• 8 a.m. means shower and shave, not wake and bake.
• You file taxes with more than three digits.
• You hear your favorite songs in doctor's waiting rooms and when you're on hold with the bank.
• You're not carded anymore for anything.
• You carry an umbrella.
• You now know there's no such thing as "looking mature."
• You get your news from sources other than ESPN and MTV.
• Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
• Doing shots and smoking cigarettes guarantees midnight dry heaves and a sinus attack instead of midnight skinny dipping and a Big Mac attack.
• You go from 130 days to seven days of vacation time.
• You actually eat breakfast foods -- at breakfast time.