Censorship

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind." -- General William Westmoreland

What Did The Turkey Do

A man goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead, the parrot just swears at him. After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, the man finally says, "If you don't stop swearing, I'm going to put you in the freezer as punishment." The parrot continues, so finally the man puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks the man to please open the door. As the man takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says, "I promise to never swear again. Just tell me what that turkey did!"

Oregon Crazy Law

• Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
• Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
• Looking for more dumb laws?
• Dishes must drip dry.
• It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
• You may not pump your own gas in service stations.
• The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart.
• One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
• Beaverton- You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
• Eugene- It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
• It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays.
• (Repealed in the 1970s) Hood River Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
• Klamath Falls- It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.
• Portland- People may not whistle underwater.
• It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
• (Repealed in 1989) You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
• Marion- Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
• Myrtle Creek- One may not box with a kangaroo.
• Salem- Women may not wrestle in Salem.
• Springfield- It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.
• Stanfield- No more than two people may share a single drink.
• Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.