Mistaken Identity

I was once involved in a case of mistaken identity. It was a good thing, because if they hadn't got the wrong person, I'd be in prison right now.

Impressive Jobs

When I'm trying to impress a girl, I tell her I work in the oil business for one of the world's biggest companies.
Sounds better than "I make the fries at McDonalds"

Photo Store

Q: What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
A: Someday my prints will come...