What Color

A guy says to a salesgirl, "I want to buy some toilet paper." She says, "What color?" He says, "Just give me white. I'll color it myself."

Take A Bath

Two guys are outside of a bathhouse. One guy says, "Did you take a bath?" The other guy says, "No, I think you're supposed to leave them inside."

Murphy's Travel Laws

Murphy Laws For Frequent Flyers...

• No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
• Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
• If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
• If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
• Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
• The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
• The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
• The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.