Bartender Surprise

A gorilla walks into a crowded bar, and being a huge gorilla, he has no trouble getting attention from the bartender and ordering. “I’ll have a Martini, please,” he says. The bartender figures the ape probably doesn’t know much about drink prices, and he says, “That’ll be $17.50.” To make small talk while making change, the bartender says, “Hey, you know, we don’t get many gorillas coming in here ordering Martinis.” The gorilla says, “At $17.50, I’m not surprised.”

Russian Beauties

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl in Russia?
A: A tourist.

Camel Betting

Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, "See that camel over there? I'll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air. The other guy says "No way". The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel's legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air. A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, "I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no." The second guy says, "You got me last time, but there's no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no." The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, "Remember what I did last time?". (Camel nods). "Want me to do it again?"