Escape

Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger. One of the guys reached into his back pack and pulled out a pair of Reebok running shoes. His friend looked at him. "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?" "I don't have to run faster than that tiger. I just have to run faster than you."

Start And Finish

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

New Book

Just finished writing my book about positive thinking
Probably won't sell a single copy