Kentucky Derby

He's so dumb, he thinks the Kentucky Derby is a hat.

Schmucks Get the Girls

Duncan was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

Yo Mama - Scratch or Wind

Yo mama is so stupid, she doesn't know whether to scratch her watch or wind her butt.