Black Dog

Q: When is a black dog not a black dog?
A: When it's a greyhound!

Brunette Meets Genie

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much." The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house." The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two." The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man." The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Food For Thought

• "If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
• "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."
• "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."
• "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."
• "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."
• "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."
• "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."
• "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."
• "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."
• "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."
• "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."