If At First You Don't Succeed

• If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a stupid fool.
• If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.
• If at first you don't succeed, transform your data-set.
• If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
• If at first you don't succeed, well...darn.
• If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway.
• If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
• If at first you don't succeed, your successor will.

Blonde Emergency

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: She can't find the number 11 on the keypad

Synthetic Vocal

Scientists have grown human vocal chords in a Petri dish.
The results speak for themselves.